As the proverbial theater lights dimmed, I was immediately immersed in the captivating world of love, nostalgia and self-discovery with HBO’s latest cinematic masterpiece, “You Were My First Boyfriend.”
The recent documentary, released for streaming on Max on Nov. 6, follows co-director Cecilia Aldarondo as she re-enacts traumatic memories from her 1990’s adolescence in an attempted “emotional exorcism,” according to the New York Times. Aldarondo weaves the past and present in her film, whisking viewers into her memories through re-enactments, home-movie footage and scrapbook voiceovers, while also tying in current-day interactions with her now grownup peers.
The film also shines awareness on typical high school hardships, such as low self-esteem, unrequited crushes, bullying, lost friendships and a lack of a sense of belonging. I appreciated Aldarondo’s brutal honesty while delving into vulnerable moments from her past, as it offered an interesting perspective on the stereotype of high school as being a purely enjoyable and nostalgic experience.
With Aldarondo playing her teenage self alongside child actors, the film feels overly obsessive at times. For example, a middle-aged Aldarondo re-enacts her first kiss by passionately making out with a 19-year-old actor in front of a green screen – an unexpected moment that caused me to physically cringe, pause the movie and continue only after having taken a few moments to recuperate.
I was also made poignantly uncomfortable by Aldarondo’s recitation of a romantic poem, written by her teenage self, to her now-adult childhood crush. Seeing the obvious discomfort and confusion of the man who barely remembered her was hard to swallow.
Surprisingly, these memories were not the heart of the film. What truly made the movie shine were the raw conversations of analysis that occurred after the re-enactments, where Aldarondo considers the impacts of these events on her life.
For example, she invites Jo Anne, a now-adult victim of her high school’s bullying, to watch as child actors play out a memory of Jo Anne being teased for her weight. Tears are shed as the victim and Aldarondo break down the event, and Aldorando is eventually forgiven for her involvement as a silent bystander.
Despite the cruel behavior of Aldarondo’s classmates not mirroring my own teenage experience, I was vicariously impacted by the frank discussions that ensued after intense scenes of “Mean Girls”-esque bullying, feeling not only pity for Aldarondo and Jo Anne, but disappointment in how children so young could be so intentionally cruel to their peer.
The movie reaches its peak when Aldarondo realizes that, in her chase for popularity, she had willingly sacrificed a true friendship with her childhood best friend: Caroline. This impactful moment made me consider past friendships and appreciate those cherished moments of connection.
As Aldarondo makes peace with the past and forgives herself, the film successfully surpasses the low expectations I started with. “You Were My First Boyfriend,” in all its cringe glory, prompts me to reflect on how I want to remember my own teenage years and consider how I might adjust my behavior to, one day, be able to look back more fondly. I would recommend this film to anyone looking to watch something unconventionally impactful, albeit a little strange.
