Students stick together with community artwork (SATIRE)

Campus-wide gum art initiative has transformed HHS’ appearance.

A new beautification initiative has added color to HHS’ otherwise green and white visage. “Gum” covers the entirety of the HHS campus. The project, which encourages students to decorate their desks with chewing gum, has greatly improved campus moral.

The gentle swirls of the gum on the desks add delightful refinement to the otherwise uninspiring wood. The work done by student has been compared to that of Michelangelo and Jackson Pollock all while they explore the potential of brilliant new medium. The swaths of gum that decorate HHS desks have raised this campus to the level of a shining — albeit gum-filled — beacon.

Gum art glamorizes student desks

In addition to its aesthetic appeal, “Gum” has added new education content to many classrooms.  The art department had begun an in-depth study of the spearmint gum art under the desk of sophomore Pierre DuPont while the math department has begun statistical analysis about how much money the school could save by constructing the new innovation hub entirely out of Hubba Bubba. There has been talk of starting a new class entirely devoted to the chewing and sticking of gum.

Moreover, HHS no longer remained confined to the shackles of the desk.  A new mosaic project has started to turn campus sidewalks into glistening rainbow railroads. Students have started murals inside the bathroom stalls and have begun gum collections on the soles of their shoes. As a substitute for cafeteria lunch, students are simply encouraged to lick their desks. The school is saving thousands!

In fact, the only potential fault in “Gum” is the overall stickiness of the project. This week alone, five freshmen were found stuck under their desk by their hair. One was left at school overnight.